Mother’s job description
Being a mom is the best thing I’ve ever done, but it’s a tough job day in and day out and certainly not a job for sissies. And if you’re a mom who works outside the home, it’s a superwoman feat to get lunches made and kids hustled out the door by 8 am so you aren’t late for work. But some days EVEN superwoman loses her cape and misplaces her keys!
The reality is the real “labour” starts right after your baby’s born when you’re instantly thrown into the world of endless diaper changes, bottle washing and bleary-eyed ‘round the clock feedings. Even if you do have a “hands-on” super duper husband like I have, motherhood is still challenging.
With Mother’s Day (a day that should be called “I’m Sorry for All I Did to You Mom”) on the horizon, it got me thinking what the job description of a mom would look like. I expect it would read something like this:
Mom, Mommy, Mother and the often used…“BUT MOM!”
Loving, selfless, team player required for lifetime commitment. Must be able to work for demanding bosses, work one-handed while juggling a baby on one hip, and foresee meltdowns in a chaotic workplace. Must be on call 24/7 (even on vacation), run on little sleep, awaken instantly and have the patience of a saint.
Must be able to magically fix “everything” with a glue gun, safety pin and a Band-Aid. Must have a high tolerance for nagging, begging, crying, bickering and the never-ending WHY questions. Must be flexible enough to fit into tight spaces to pick up objects, have eyes on the back of your head, six pair of hands & able to clean and tidy the same areas over and over again. Must have catlike reflexes to catch anyone about to fall at any given time. Must be mature enough to refrain from: yelling, sarcasm, caving in, bargaining with chocolate, locking children in a room and throwing away the key or running away from home.
Previous experience should include:
Maid, cook, chauffeur, nurse, referee, counsellor, and teacher with a Masters degree in stain removal. A strong stomach and ability to bite your tongue are major assets.
Salary and Benefits:
No salary but includes endless hugs & kisses, homemade cards, an occasional “You’re the best mom in the world” and unexpected dandelions. Benefits include a life-time of wonderful memories, a long-term investment in happiness and a life-well spent…
“Happy You-Deserve-It Mother’s Day” to all the fabulous mothers out there who keeps the world keep spinning!